Philadelphia Weekly 'Because only yes means yes: Have better sex and end rape culture along the way'

Af­firm­at­ive con­sent not only re­moves any doubt about wheth­er a situ­ation was mu­tu­al, it makes for bet­ter sex, too. 

A bold idea is gain­ing trac­tion on Amer­ica’s col­lege cam­puses: Sex is a col­lab­or­at­ive com­mu­nic­a­tion, not just a green light to use someone’s body as an or­gasm-pro­cure­ment device. Stu­dents are be­ing taught to prac­tice af­firm­at­ive con­sent, mov­ing bey­ond the old “no means no” to the more co­oper­at­ive “yes means yes.” In­stead of put­ting the onus on an in­di­vidu­al to fend off un­wanted sexu­al activ­ity, the re­spons­ib­il­ity to pre­vent rape is on every­body—each par­ti­cipant needs to get (and give) clear, en­thu­si­ast­ic in­dic­a­tions of be­ing on board.

All af­firm­at­ive con­sent means is that every­one agrees to what is hap­pen­ing. You have to be old enough/able to un­der­stand the situ­ation, and you have to be free from pres­sure—that is, just as eas­ily free to say “no” as “yes.” At any time, con­sent can be re­voked. Mak­ing sure your part­ner is game is an on­go­ing pro­cess, and please note: It’s something that hap­pens nat­ur­ally if you’re ac­tu­ally any good at sex.